One of the hardest things that adult children must sometimes do is to assist their parents in downsizing.  Most of the time, this means also getting the parent(s) to agree to sell the home, perhaps also to move into a seniors facility (independent living, assisted living or skilled nursing) or perhaps to move in with one of the adult kids. Very often, leaving the house also means leaving a good deal of memories and perhaps independence.  It can be terribly difficult for everyone involved.

Sometimes our older family members can live at their own home until they die, which is what they want and what makes everyone happy. As they age, there are services which can come to them (cleaning, meals being prepared or dropped off, errands being run.driving services provided when reflexes slow or eyes fail). In those cases, perhaps worrying about real estate can wait.

For others, though, either medical needs or social needs drive the change to a place with many other seniors. For some, this infusion of new friends can be an emotional lifeline that greatly improves the quality of life.  Particularly for those who lose the ability to drive and move about independently, a transition to a seniors facility can mean a reconnecting with others which was lost due to lack of independence.  I have seen that with some of my own relatives. 

In my family, I have worked with many elderly relatives as they’ve made the progression from their own house to a place with more care, whether it’s just meals being prepared and house work being done or much more.  It is never easy and it is always riddled with emotion. It sometimes coincides with the loss of the driver’s license – so there may be multiple “losses” happening at once.

One of the biggest challenges may come with dementia. At what point is the parent able to handle the contractual work involved with selling a house or condo?  I once was asked to list a house for sale in Santa Clara by the son of the home owner.  I met with her and she appeared to me to go “in and out” mentally.  One moment she was coherent, but the next, she was mentally unclear and confused.  In my professional opinion, she was incapable of the mental capacity legally required to sign a contract and that she appeared to lack the legal capacity to enter into a contract.  I suggested that he get a power of attorney to assist her with this.  He didn’t like my response to the situation, and said that he “wanted her involved”. I explained ways in which she could remain involved, but have him do the actual paperwork since it was beyond her ability at least some of the time (and unpredictably).  He was upset and informed me that I was the second Realtor to tell him this, but he didn’t want to sell her home this way – so he was going to find another salesperson!

What can an adult child do to prepare for this time and to help with this challenging transition?

Perhaps the hardest part is bringing up the topic long, long before the move is even necessary – when it is just a faint glimmer on the horizon.  (Not so long ago, our 21 year old son asked me what we intend to do at that point in our lives, and we are only in our 50s.  He is thinking ahead!)  Most families find it difficult to broach the subject of the declining years – it is almost an anathema topic, like sex or religion or politics in some circles.  But if the conversations about when to end driving, or when to end independent living, can happen earlier, I do believe that the transition will be easier. It is not entirely unlike seeing the family attorney to draw up a will or trust.  Plan it out, “just in case”, and things will be smoother.

It is also helpful to involve the senior in the decision of where to go and when to recognize the signs that it’s time, too.  Jim and I have found that sometimes the change that we dread the most is the one that makes our family member the happiest once we get through it.  Some relatives respond very positively to not having to clean or cook, to having company, rides, entertainment, help remembering vital medicines and caring on a really regular basis.  And even with dementia care,  going to smaller quarters with more group activities can alleviate some of the tension in the senior’s life.

Some real estate agents (yours truly included) have gone through special training to work with seniors and their families.  One designation for help along those lines is the Seniors Real Estate Specialist, or SRES.  Since I had so many older family members who downsized repeatedly, I decided a few years ago to do the training too.  Although I had learned a lot through experience, I did glean some good info through the training, too.  So if you are looking to help a parent or grandparent to sell the family home and move in with a relative or to go to a seniors facility, you might consider hiring someone who is an SRES or who has extra experience in working with seniors and their family members.

Interested in learning more about retirement communities in Silicon Valley? Call me or drop me a line and I’ll share with you my own experiences with various places in and near San Jose, Los Gatos, and Saratoga.

Recently I read an article on Realty Times about the tax credit for non-first time homebuyers. Did you know that it may be used for “move down” buyers as well as “move up” buyers?

There are some caveats – the home cannot cost more than $800,000 and a couple cannot earn more than $255,000 per year.  Owners must have been in the home for five consecutive years of the last eight.  This may be the ideal help for Silicon Valley seniors wanting to downsize.

To read the article on Realty Times, click here.

Yesterday some clients of mine asked me about seniors selling their home and purchasing another residence while keeping the older, lower property tax rate. I did a little digging and thought I’d share what I found.

There are actually two propositions involved.  Prop 60 applies to moves within Santa Clara County, and Prop 90 relates to moves between counties which are participating in this benefit to seniors (only these few, as of the date of this posting: Alameda, Los Angeles, Orange, San Diego, San Mateo, Santa Clara, Ventura).

Some of the basics:

• Homeowners 55 and older at the time of sale of the original property.
• Homeowner must be on record both for the home that’s sold and the replacement property.
• The replacement residence must be equal to or lesser in value than the original residence.
• There are special rules for multi-family (duplex, triplex, fourplex) properties and for mobile homes.

In the most typical scenario, a senior homeowner would sell a house (or townhome or condo) and “downsize” to another, less expensive, smaller house or condo.  If the homeowner had been in the first property for a very long time, then the low tax rate would be hard to give up, but Props 60 and 90 enable that homeowner to go to another, less expensive home and carry the old tax rate along – one time, and either in the home county or in one of the participating counties. 

I have known seniors to sell a house in Los Gatos, Saratoga or San Jose and move to The Villages or to gated senior communities out of the area but closer to their grown kids and make use of these two propositions.

For more information and to get all the details, please click on the links above.