The other day I was in the car with my uncle, a Jesuit priest and a very wise man. Our conversation turned to the ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle, and my uncle noted that for Aristotle, the most important thing was the type of question asked.

We chatted about this awhile (I had studied Aristotle in college, but hadn’t remembered this important point) and I realized that this is also very true with real estate and home buyers & home sellers right here in Silicon Valley today.

Let’s look at a few real estate questions and just think about where each one leads:

• What is the fastest way to…?
• What is the easiest way to…?
• What is the cheapest way to…?
• What is the most thorough way to…?
• What is the most careful or conservative way to…?

You can see what I mean.  So many times, people wanting to buy or sell homes start with certain questions…and they may or may not be the best questions. The questions above are the “how to” questions – what is the way to do whatever it is.

Here are some very different questions. Instead of the “how to do” questions, they are the “I want this outcome” type of questions:

• Where is the best school for my kids and their needs (or special needs)?
• What kind of neighborhood do I want to live in?
• What kind of agent do I want to hire to guide me?
• What kind of lender do I want to hire to assist me?
• When would I like to be in or out of my home?

Oftentimes, I’ll have a listing and will be working with the seller to get the home marketed and sold.  A buyer – who does not know me in the slightest – comes through an open house and asks me to help him or her or them to “write up the offer”.
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Recently a friend asked me about the way in which vendors are selected when people buy and sell homes.  In some cases, Silicon Valley home buyers or home sellers know which title company, home inspector, home waranty provider or other vendor to hire.  Most of the time, though, they don’t. They are hoping that we real estate professionals can put them into contact with good providers.

When working with my clients, for most vendors I provide a trusted  list of sorts.  For the various inspections (roof, chimney, home, pest, etc.) or other service (lender, home warranty, title company) there might be as few as two or as many as six resources listed.  Most often, my clients ask me if I have one or more which I prefer, and most of the time it is one company for each category (I have a favorite termite company, favorite home warranty company, etc.).

The home buyer or seller in Santa Clara can pick or hire anyone or any company he or she pleases for these various jobs. We agents can and will assist with sharing the names and numbers of those whom we know, like and trust, but at the end of the day, it’s the client who chooses. So really it’s up to the client – he or she can do some research or not.  But if they tell me (as they most often do) to go with my preferred vendor, there’s one in each category and I don’t tend to “spread the business around”.  Over the years, agents tend to build relationships with people in these companies and get a sense of whom they can trust and want to work with. (We agents would hate it if a client with six homes to sell picked six different Realtors to rotate through, too. We tend to want and also to give loyalty.)

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Last week I got an email from someone who’d seen a Silicon Valley house she liked from a real estate agent whom she didn’t like.  She wondered, “do I have to buy the house with that agent?” 

The answer, of course, is not always clear. It depends on your relationship with the agent.  It may also depend on why you choose to buy the home with someone else’s assistance.

(1) Your relationship with the real estate agent

Did you sign a buyer broker agreement with that Realtor? If so, you may owe a commission to her if you buy the home through someone else.

Did you write an offer on that property with the agent? If so, again you may owe a commission to him if you hire someone else to help you purchase it afterwards. 

In many cases, there is a verbal contract that you are working with a Silicon Valley real estate professional exclusively. This does “count” too but it may be easier to change your status if it’s a verbal agreement.

(2) Problem agents, problem consumers.  Do you want or need to break the relationship with your current agent? 

Is your agent giving too pushy? Doesn’t seem to know what he or she is doing?  Too hard to reach?  Too busy to really assist you? Or doing something else that you perceive as a “red flag”?  Sometimes agents should be fired. 

You most likely can break that agency relationship with a problem agent if it’s a verbal contract only and you haven’t written an offer on the property in question, but you must  clearly tell him or her that you are not going to continue working together and then have a gap in time between then and when you do write an offer on the home (at least a few days, if not a few weeks).  You can break the agency relationship verbally or in an email or both, but it needs to be clear so that there is no misunderstanding. A call or voice mail followed up by an email would be very clear.

You can terminate the agency relationship  very nicely and graciously, of course.   It is not necessary to tell him or her why you are electing to discontinue the relationship, but he or she will certainly wonder so you may nicely share your reasons.  I would just say try to be pleasant and thank the agent for the time spent.

Sometimes there are a few problem consumers working with ill-will who think that they can work with an agent, see a lot of homes, and then simply either go directly to a seller or listing agent or bring in an out of area friend or relative to write up the offer and close the deal.  If a consumer does this not because of a difficulty with the first agent but just in order to save money (or get a rebate) etc., it is possible that the first salesperson will cry “foul!” and press to be paid a commission.  The lawsuit in this case would be what’s called a “procuring cause” lawsuit.  Procuring cause means that the first agent was really the reason why the consumer purchased the home, and therefore is entitled to a commission (which the buyer might be forced to pay if doing a last hour agent switch).

A good example of a procuring cause lawsuit is the case of Jerry Seinfeld, who had to pay his agent $100,000 when he bought a home without her because he could not reach her one day.  Impatience will cost you!

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A real estate agent is someone who’s taken a course (or more) and passed a state exam and is licensed by the state to sell real estate.

A Realtor (pronounced REEL-TOR, not real-a-tor) is an agent who’s ALSO a member of the National Association of Realtors, which is a voluntary trade group. Realtors promise to abide by and take very seriously their Code of Ethics. Ever wonder what is in it? It’s not short and is quite comprehensive. Take a look:

http://www.realtor.org/mempolweb.nsf/pages/code

Please understand that not everything that is legal is also ethical – Realtors have a higher standard of practice. Often non-Realtors (at least in Siliocon Valley) are not full-time agents but dabble in real estate. Realtors are usually full-time and work as professionals.

Finally, if you have a problem with an agent who’s not a Realtor, you have to complain to the state. With a member of NAR, who is almost always also a member of the state association (CAR – the California Association of Realtors) and local (either SILVAR – the Silicon Valley Association of Realtors or SCCAOR – the Santa Clara County Association of Realtors), you can take action locally for most any issue and do not need to go all the way to the state level. Agents work hard to remain in good standing with the local, state, and national boards.

In the San Jose area, most of the large realty firms are “all Realtor” offices. Usually becoming a member of NAR, CAR and either SILVAR or SCCAOR is a requirement for joining the company. In other areas and in other states, in can be different. So it’s mostly the independents where you’ll find a real estate licensee who’s not also a Realtor. But ask!

When you interview an agent, then, the first question to ask is this: are you a Realtor?