Do you want to have a transactional or relational real estate relationship with the person you hire to work with you in buying or selling a home? Or are you aware of the difference?

Transactional or relational relationship?

Some consumers are transactional: when we’re working together on this purchase or sale, we’re in touch. It’s isolated. When the sale closes, we’ll probably not reconnect unless there’s a problem stemming from the purchase or sale. Transactional people see each real estate purchase or sale as very distinct and are likely to hire separately for each one. Some may be in escrow with one agent, and phone another to ask about the next purchase or sale, and not find anything weird or odd about doing so.

Other consumers foster a relationship with their Realtor and want to stay in touch, periodically asking for input or assistance, even when they are not buying or selling. They might ask for help in fighting a property tax assessment, or ask for advice about the long term return on investment of this or that improvement. Or they may just email to say hello, share an interesting episode (that may be real estate related), ask how the market is, or ask how the agent is. To one degree or another, they foster a friendship through working together that extends long past the close of escrow. These folks get a lot out of their Realtor relationship and wouldn’t dream of working with anyone else.

It’s reciprocal. Their agents will do anything possible to help them, whether it’s advice or research or anything else. Why? Because it’s more than just a transaction.

Some real estate agents are transactional, too, with the focus on real estate being “a numbers game”, as we often hear. Most, in my experience, however, seem to be relationally oriented. The vast majority of agents want to work with their clients not just once, but always.  You may see tag lines on business cards that state “Your Realtor for life!” and the like. (Someone on Reddit stated that this was creepy, which made me laugh.) We certainly want to be our clients’ Realtors and real estate resources for all of their realty needs.

Confusion and upset when expectations don’t line up on the transactional or relational nature of the relationship

A few years back, I saw on an online message board this comment: “why, if someone hires a real estate professional once, does that real estate person feel like they OWN the consumer?” While I’ve never known a licensee to assert ownership over anyone, I get it. The complaining person is transactional. You had a sale, you did your job, we’re all done. But that buyer’s agent or seller’s agent thought it was relational and expected an ongoing relationship – and repeat business.

For those of us who’ve been selling homes for a while, we can tell you that it is painful when we think that we have developed a relationship with a client, and feel like we worked hard for that person, did a good job, and stayed in touch, maybe even giving advice along they way, and then the past client hires someone else. It is always a bit of a sucker punch, particularly if the past client kept soliciting input and essentially indicated that it was a relational relationship. (Worse when it’s a friend or relative.)

When I was a new agent, I got a listing in a great neighborhood  where I’d been active at the time. It was a nice older client couple. A highly experienced Realtor that I respected tremendously came through my broker open house and told me that she lived a block away and that my clients had been asking her for real estate advice for years, but when it was time to sell they did not even speak with her. She never even got the chance to interview for it. She was terribly hurt and I felt awful for her. That was a case where she was relational but they did not feel any obligation to her – not even a minimum courtesy of interviewing her. She felt used.

Over time, it has happened to us, too, of course, where we’ve been giving ongoing input and help, and then someone hires a different licensee. Every career has good and bad points, and that is definitely one of the worst things about this business.

Getting the most out of your relational agent relationship

If you are a home owner, your property is one of your most expensive holdings. Of course, you can ask for an annual home value review. But your Realtor can be an ongoing resource for you with questions about nearby home sales, improvements that generate the best return on investment, requesting help with fighting your property tax bill (if you think your assessment is too high), and much more.

In recent months, our past clients have asked for help in understanding the big industry changes (from the real estate lawsuits), whether this or that home improvement would have a better value over time, why a certain home sold for the price it did (we can sometimes find out via private agent comments or other clues), questions on different types of home security, solar power, home batteries, and many other things. We LOVE hearing from past clients and welcome the opportunity to be an ongoing resource for them. We have some who want an annual approximate valuation so that they can keep track of their equity.

 

Being clear for everyone’s sake on transactional or relational connection

Transactionally minded? That’s ok, of course! Since most real estate professionals will want to stay in touch and to continue to develop a relationship with you, you can kindly let them know that this isn’t how you work. Some folks simply compartmentalize things.

• You can unsubscribe from their mailing lists, email lists, etc.
• You can kindly say “it was great working with you, and please don’t be offended, but I’m not really planning on staying in touch”.
• Or “my sister just got her license, so now I’ll be working with her”.
• You can also say “I hired you because you work the XYZ zip code, but when I sell my house on the other side of the valley, I’m going to hire someone who works that zip code”.
• If you did like and trust that agent, and you want to hire someone else for another area or type of real estate, you might ask the first agent to help you locate the next agent (and earn a referral fee from the next agent)
• If you do ask for ongoing advice, input, guidance, etc., that agent will believe that you have a continuing relationship and that they are “your Realtor”. If you truly don’t want to work with that person in the future, it would be better to not lead him or her on.
• If possible, let them hear it from you and not see it on social media that you’re moving and have hired someone else.

 

For consumers who like their agent and who want to stay in touch, make it known!

• You can just say it: “When this sale closes, I’d like to stay in touch and periodically ask you about the market, my home’s value, or for input on improvements. Is that OK with you?” (100% of agents will say yes unless there’s not a good relationship there.)
• Reviews and referrals speak volumes, of course.
• Connect with them on social media, if you participate there – or let them know you’d like to do so.

 

Finally, many consumers are relationally minded, but will say “I don’t want to bother my agent”. Please know that your past real estate agent would love to hear from you, whether it’s to hear about their home’s value or anything else.

 

Related reading:

Play the field and lose the game: work with just one Realtor (from our popehandy.com site)

How to get a great buyer’s agent – and keep them (this site)